Thursday, March 24, 2011

Tommy's Take on Invaderz Pocket Edition

Invaderz is a "beer and pretzels" RPG by Postmortem Studios about a bunch of little green men invading Earth (or, in theory, other planets). The Pocket Edition is the second edition of the game, shrunk down to inflate the page count and make you think you're getting more for your buck (that's what the Pathetic Human that wrote the introduction says!).

Fair warning: Most of the book is written "in character", from a Jerkian (those would be the Invaderz in question) perspective, though we do get little sidebars by Biblios of planet Tee'Em'Eye, which helps you "pull back the veil" a little bit.

We also get a Piracy Notice which is pretty standard in Postmortem Games books, as I understand, appealing to you to seek out and purchase other works if you enjoy the game.

ORIENTATION

This is, not surprisingly, the beginning chapter. Jerkians are all cloned from the tissue of the Jerkian Emperor, on the planet Clonius (it's the cloning planet, you see). We get the basics of the Jerkians here: They are made up of brain meat and body meat, have one eye, they are all male (although there is a whole moon rumored to be made up entirely of lesbians), and every Jerkian has a "spine worm" that keeps them standing upright.

We even get a helpful diagram of Jerkians and their "parts".

Naming is completely random: You roll 4d6 twice to get your three letter name, then roll 3d6 and that's your three digit code, such as Sop-443.

The Jerkian Empire is described, alternately in Jerkian propaganda and lampshaded by Biblios, as a bunch of insensitive jerkwads who are impossible to like, and basically do whatever the Emperor (who has gorged himself up to the size of a planet) tells them to.

As part of their invasion of Earth, they are focusing heavily on America (specifically the Bible Belt), because the people there (of which I am one, actually) are prone to "believe lies"...with Biblios pointing out huge flaws in their logic, I'm not sure if I should be offended or amused here, the implication being that my redneck kin and I are liable to give the Jerkians more violence and hostility than they are prepared for.

The Jerkian training regiment is laid out, culminating in determining what job your Jerkian performs, which is randomly determined via die roll.

CAREERS

Jerkians only really begin to show any individuality once they get their career, of which there are 13 (including the possibility of being one of the slave races instead - some of whom are actually independent contractors who just put up with Jerkian crap for the work).

There are also the Automated Robotic Servile Entities, which can be used as last minute back-up, especially if someone's Jerkian bites it with half the session left to play. All of the careers have accompanying pictures, and some have some downright hilarious mechanics, like the Assault Trooper's giant metal hands, which means they are liable to break anything - ANYTHING they try to manipulate with their hands. Hamstoid Minesweepers are the last ones who will ever be targeted in combat...great, right? Except their sole purposes are to provide sadistic amusement for Jerkians and, well, they don't get any special equipment when looking for thoose mines.

RANK

Yes, there is advancement in the game. Someone is determined to be the Commander and they get Merits that they can dole out. Whoever has the highest number of Merits at the end of the mission is promoted...whoever has the lowest number is demoted. There are 13 Jerkian ranks from 1 (Slave) to 13 (Emperor - which you can't be promoted to because, well, there's already an Emperor).

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

This actually even begins with the "What is an RPG" stuff, with the disclaimer that it is INCREDIBLY unlikely that this is going to be anyone's first RPG.

For those who haven't caught on by now, you are not meant to take the game too seriously, with the GM encouraged to accept bribes and players encouraged to not overthink things.

Character creation involves taking the info from your Job, adding something else that you are Good at, and then (if you choose) raising an Statistic (Meat, Brain Meat, Expertise or Luck), but this requires lowering another in response.

At the beginning of every mission, the highest Ranked Jerkians determine who is the Commander, and then everyone randomly rolls for assigned equipment.

The mechanic is simple: Roll a die, add a stat, add +1 or +2 if you are Good or Very Good at it. In an opposed situation, whoever rolls higher wins, otherwise the GM has set the difficulty for you (usually 1 to 8).

Health is measured on three levels: Fine, Disabled and Splattered. In most cases, a successful hit means the target is Disabled, a second one means they are Splattered.

35 pieces of Standard Equipment are available, like Armored Vests (extra level of Fine), Decoys (remember those little capsules that you can throw in water and they turn into spongy dinosaurs and stuff? Yeah, them), laser knives (the smaller version of laser swords), monoculars (it makes sense when you remember Jerkians only have one eye), plank with a nail through it (call-out to Kang and Kodos!) and Stealth Suits (which can be Space pirates, ninja, monkey, cardboard robot, tuxedo or a spare uniform). And that's just a sampling of the STANDARD stuff.

There are 34 pieces of Experimental Equipment, which are very cool and very likely to kill you or have some other side effect. Black Hole Grenades will sometimes open up TOO wide, with nasty consequences for the thrower. You can have a Dehydrated Reserve Clone, though it may wind up being a freakish mutant (I know, right?) instead. A Heat Ray is pretty useful, with a surprisingly tame backlash, and the Orbital Death Ray Controller doesn't SEEM to put its user in any immediate danger. The Time Watch can pause time...or accidentally pitch its user through time...and the Universal Remote basically lets you control ANYTHING...if it doesn't cause it to go completely haywire instead.

EARTH FIELD GUIDE

This is a pretty amusing take on the primary specimens on Earth (according to the Jerkians): Cows, sheep, dogs and humans. Jerkians have figured out that humans a) like sex and b) don't like metal objects shoved in their butts...so they're on the right track, at least!

ENEMIES

Once you get through the Jerkian take on human society, you get stock stats for most earthling adversaries like Soldiers, Cops, Rednecks, Scientists, Earth Females and Men in Black.

BATTLE PLANS

These amount to 20 mission seeds for the Jerkian Emperor to toss at the unit, from destroying a city to get back at Men in Black, to hijacking Santa Claus to rounding up babies for the Emperor to feast on.

PLANET GUIDE

These are the planet of the Jerkian Empire, all humorous parodies of the Star Wars trope of a single purpose planet: Clonius is the clone planet, Fac-Tor is a gigantic storage shed (essentially), Lesbia would be where all the (alleged) female Jerkians (allegedly) live, Jerkia is what the Emperor has become, Threed...is a giant planet of yarn (it's a tourist attraction).

CONCLUSION

While some other humor RPGs are more joke than game, Invaderz is perfectly playable (just don't take it too seriously). The author tossed some biting commentary in there without ever being heavy handed, and did it in such a way (through the Jerkians, who were already called out as being full of it by Biblios) that I wasn't sure if I should have been offended or not...and then I decided that I was thinking about it too much, laughed, and went on.

There were even some references that I didn't get until I said the Jerkian words out loud phonetically, face-palmed for not getting them, and laughed...and I'm sure I still missed some references on top of that.

If you like humor RPGs AT ALL, pick up the PDF of Invaderz, which is "app-priced" at $1.99. It's the best humor RPG I've read because of the wittiness of the writing combined with an actual (albeit simple) game being there. (I thought Gnomemurdered was great, but it essentially broke down into a coin toss...I think my players would feel cheated there. Here, they would be in on the joke.)

If there had been a "random mission generator", this thing would have been gold.

[My WWE Universe Year 2] Extreme Rules

ROAD TO EXTREME RULES

RAW

WEEK 1

Santino Marella looked impressive, pinning Ezekiel Jackson in a Falls Count Anywhere Match after the Cobra!

Goldust and Cody Rhodes looked great together, beating Tyson Kidd and Primo after Goldust pinned Primo following Shattered Dreams!

Romero Contreras murdered Chavo Guerrero.

Wade Barrett beat Sheamus to a bloody pulp in a #1 Contender's Match...but Edge ran in and took out his old rival Barrett with a Spear! This allowed Sheamus to hit the High Cross for the pin! However, Barrett had friends in high places and the match was restarted as a Falls Count Anywhere Match! Edge ran out again, but a wayward shot by Sheamus caused Edge to leave Sheamus to his fate...the Wasteland!

SUPERSTARS

In a Triple Threat Match, Kaval jumped Shelton Benjamin before the match during a bout with Mike Knox. They all went back and forth until Kaval caught Knox out of nowhere with a small package for the pin.

Heath Slater picked up a nice win over Matt Hardy.

As Triple H battled Joe Cothern, Cothern's Million Dollar Teammate Dolph Ziggler hit the ring...and laid out Cothern! Triple H looked confused...but hit the Pedigree for the pin!

SMACKDOWN

The Miz jumped Kofi Kingston from the crowd before their Hardcore Title Match, and used that advantage to pin him and win the Hardcore title.

Rey Mysterio looked like he had Christian on the ropes in a Tables Match, when Kaval ran in and split Rey wide open! This allowed Christian to put Rey through the table for the win.

As Raven and RVD fought MVP and Mark Henry in a cage, Raven made his escape first, which unfortunately left RVD alone against the other two. The reunion of MVP and Henry wasn't successful as RVD managed to thwart them and escape himself.

Sting and Batista squared off in a big brawl. Booker T tried to help Sting out, but Batista managed to use the chaos to bring a sledgehammer in and nail Sting. Ultimately, the Batista Bomb finished Sting.

WEEK 2

RAW

Kane took advantage of the mutual hatred between Zack Ryder and Ted DiBiase to win the Million Dollar Title in a Triple Threat Match! After the match, he went after Ryder with a chair when Dolph Ziggler hit the ring and ran him off!

William Regal and Drew McIntyre fended off Cody Rhodes and Goldust in a non title Falls Count Anywhere match thanks to intervention by Luke Gallows.

Alberto Del Rio jumped Big Show from the crowd before their match, using the unfair advantage to take Show out!

In a brutal Triple Threat Falls Count Anywhere main event, Sheamus pinned Edge to defeat him and Wade Barrett. Skip Sheffield got involved at one point but was sent scurrying...Sheamus stands tall to redeem himself after losing last week!

SUPERSTARS

Shinsuke Nakamura being at ringside did nothing to help Terry Funk against Husky Harris, who scored the pin after a crushing top rope senton.

Shelton Benjamin found himself in a precarious position, facing Alex Riley and Kaval in a Triple Threat Match. Benjamin managed to stun Kaval and Riley, pinning Kaval after Paydirt, just as fellow Christian Coalition stablemate John Morrison hit the ring with a chair!

R-Truth hit the ring on fire and polished off Vance Archer quickly!

SMACKDOWN

Jack Swagger and The Rock beat the living Hell out of one another, but Swagger came out on top with the Gutwrench Powerbomb! After the match, Undertaker appeared in the ring and gave Swagger a chokeslam!

In a match every bit as thrilling as you would expect, John Morrison pinned Rob Van Dam after a crushing running knee to the face!

Mark Henry and MVP jumped Cryme Tyme before their Tables Match! Though it was a good brawl, MVP and Henry never looked to be in real trouble, winning after MVP suplexed JTG through the table.

CM Punk and John Cena battled in a Tables Match that was interrupted mid-bout by Alex Riley! Riley laid both men out but Cena ultimately recovered and put a bloodied Punk through two stacked tables!

WEEK 3

RAW

As much damage as Ezekiel Jackson did to Evan Bourne in their Tables match to open Raw, Bourne still prevailed when he crushed Jackson through a table with the Air Bourne!

In a shocking show of ability, Dolph Ziggler outlasted Kane in an impromptu Submission Match to become the #1 Contender to the US title.

Joe Cothern hit the ring on fire and destroyed David Otunga, even putting his feet on the ropes to punctuate it.

Randy Orton stalled out some of Sheamus' momementum with an RKO!

SUPERSTARS

Because they haven't wrestled on Superstars enough, RVD faced off with Mike Knox. Knox stormed the ring before the match, but Van Dam still prevailed with the Five Star Frog Splash.

Ted DiBiase stormed the ring against Santino, but it failed for him like it just did Knox against RVD...I mean, c'mon, Santino's a former World Champion.

In a Raw battle Royal, Vladimir Kozlov eliminated Chavo Guerrero, Romero Contreras sent Terry Funk out, and Husky Harris accidentally eliminated his own team mate Skip Sheffield. Romero eliminated Harris moments later, and then suplexed Kozlov over the ropes and to the floor!

SMACKDOWN

Shelton Benjamin stormed the ring and wiped out Jack Swagger in a super fast "Falls Count Anywhere" match! After the match, Kaval and John Morrison came out onto the ramp and taunted Shelton!

The Miz gained some hardcore credibility with a successful title defense over Finlay in an Extreme Rules match.

John Cena and Kofi Kingston agreed to take on Alex Riley and a mystery partner in a Tables Match...Riley's partner? MIKE KNOX. William Regal walked to the ring...and blasted Kofi with a chair! In a shocker, a chair weilding CM Punk ran out of the crowd and seemingly ran Regal off!  Kofi ultimately got the win for his team with a flying legdrop through the table on Riley!

Shawn Michaels taught Batista a nasty lesson in being TOO laser focused, pinningg him to become the #1 Contender to the World Title! The match was restarted as a Submission Match...in which the two reviled men tore each other apart! HBK ultimately left Batista a bloody mess...and made him submit to the Figure Four Leglock!

Week 4

RAW

Kane, being cheered on by Alberto Del Rio, defended the Million Dollar Title against Santino. Dolph Ziggler was in the crowd, but Kane would not be distracted.

Vance Archer jumped Shinsuke Nakamura from behind before their match started, but he never capitalized and Nakamura planted him after the Boma Ye.

Tyson Kidd and Primo jumped John Cena and Kofi Kingston on their way to the ring, but Cena and Kingston destroyed the two smaller men and prevailed, becoming the #1 Contenders to the Tag Team Titles! After the match, Regal and McIntyre hit the ring and wiped them out!!

Edge was suckered by Wade Barrett into a handicap match against Skip Sheffield, Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater! The Nexus was too much for him, and Gabriel's 450 Splash put Edge out.

SUPERSTARS

The Great Muta prevailed over Terry Funk in an impromptu Falls Count Anywhere Match.

Mike Knox and Luke Gallows jumped Cody Rhodes and Goldust on their way to the ring! The Golden Boys tried to fight back, but Knox hit the Knoxed Out on Goldust to pick up the win!

Alberto Del Rio ambushed Triple H before their match began, and kept him from ever getting out of the starting gate.

SMACKDOWN

The Miz and John Morrison argued about who should start off their match against Shelton Benjamin and Daniel Bryan, and it proved to be a nasty bit of foreshadowing. Even when Kaval came out to interfere (and got suplexed into the ring steps by Shelton), The Christian Coalition could not keep focused enough to beat Shelton and Bryan.

Rey Mysterio fended off Mark Henry's interference en route to beating MVP!

CM Punk came out to take on Alex Riley for getting involved in his business a couple of weeks ago. As they went at it, John Morrison hit the ring and Punk looked nervous...until Morrison laid out Riley!! Punk looked stunned...then finished Riley off!

Sting and Shawn Michael faced off in an Iron Man Match with HBK getting the first pin, thanks to a pre-match sneak attack! Sting rallied back, but Batista ran in and hit the Batista Bomb! Booker T ran Batista off and Sting wound up pulling ahead, getting a 3-1 victory! HBK had to be carted away on a stretcher post-match!!

EXTREME RULES

John Morrison beat The Miz down for most of their TLC match...but Miz kicked Morrison off the top of the ladder and managed to yank the Hardcore title down!

In a clean, athletic contest, Evan Bourne pinned Dolph Ziggler with the Air Bourne to retain the US title!

Randy Orton reduced Alberto Del Rio to a bloody mess in a Last Man Standing match. Del Rio was quick enough to avoid the Punt Kick, but ate the RKO and got KOed.

In an INTENSE and HIGH IMPACT tag team ladder match, John Cena, Kofi Kingston, William Regal and Drew McIntyre got all of each other...Regal at one point knocked down two ladders with Kofi's limp body, but Cena got the belts after knocking Regal off the ladder! New champions!

Shawn Michaels' replacement for the World Title Match was none other than...BATISTA. Batista took everything Sting had and kept shrugging it off, rolling out of the ring after a Death Drop, powering out of the Deathlock and even getting back up after Sting drove him through the announce table...but Sting did get the pin after a second Death Drop!

Two months after Santino spoiled his Raw dominance, Wade Barrett defeated Edge in an Extreme Rules match to become a two time WWE Champion! After the match, Barrett brutally attacked Edge with a chair!

RAW

1. John Cena (default)
2. Sheamus (Backlash)
3. Triple H (The Bash)
4. Wade Barrett (Royal Rumble)
5. Santino Marella (WrestleMania)
6. Edge (Backlash)
WWE Champion: Wade Barrett (Extreme Rules)
1. The Miz (default)
2. R-Truth (Backlash)
3. The Miz (Extreme Rules)
4. Zack Ryder (The Bash)
5. Ted DiBiase (Night of Champions)
6. Sheamus (Summerslam)
US Champion: Evan Bourne (TLC)
1. Ted DiBiase (default)
2. The Greatest American Bolo (Feb. Week 3 Year 1 Raw)
3. Batista (Elimination Chamber)
4. Zack Ryder (Apr. Week 4 Year 2 Raw)
Million Dollar Champion: Kane (May Week 2 Year 2 Raw)

Smackdown

1. Rey Mysterio (default)
2. Jack Swagger (Backlash)
World Champion: Sting (TLC)
1. Dolph Ziggler (default)
2. Luke Gallows (Extreme Rules)
3. Christian (The Bash)
4. Kofi Kingston (Night of Champions)
5. Drew McIntyre (Summerslam)
6. Todo Americano (Hell in a Cell)
7. Dolph Ziggler (Nov. Week 4 Year 1 SD)
8. Kane (Elimination Chamber)
Intercontinental Champion: Kofi Kingston (Backlash)
1. Raven (Dec. Week 2 Year 1 SD)
2. MVP (TLC)
3. Kane (Jan. Week 2 Year 1 SD)
4: Kofi Kingston (Mar. Week 1 Year 1 SD)
Hardcore Champion: The Miz (May Week 1 Year 2 SD)

1. The Hart Dynasty (Default)
2. John Morrison & R-Truth (The Bash)
3. The Hart Dynasty (Summerslam)
4. John Morrison & R-Truth (Hell in a Cell)
5. Straight Edge Society (Bragging Rights)
6: William Regal & Drew McIntyre (Elimination Chamber)
Unified Tag Team Champions: John Cena & Kofi Kingston

Thursday, March 3, 2011

[My WWE Universe Year 2] Backlash


YEAR ONE

YEAR 2

ROAD TO BACKLASH

WEEK 1

RAW

Raw opened with the debut of new Raw arrival...THE BIG SHOW! Poor Ted DiBiase. DiBiase hit the ring hard and did a lot of damage, but either seemed like he was out to hurt somebody, or wasn't confident enough to go for the pin...and got KOed. Show, to his credit, offered DiBiase a handshake, but was refused.

Triple H was seated at ringside as Sheamus and Big Zeke squared off for a #1 Contender's spot!

It was a hard hitting brawl...and Ezekiel Jackson scored the clean pin!

The Miz found himself in unfriendly territory...in a submission match against Chris Jericho! Miz tried to hang in...but tapped out.

In a Falls Count Anywhere main event, Randy Orton welcomed the newest Raw arrival...Alberto Del Rio! Del Rio charged out of his car and attacked Orton...but Orton countered! Del Rio ran away
to the floor...where he caught Orton with an enzuigiri and a crippling release German Suplex on
the floor for the surprising pin!

SUPERSTARS

As Husky Harris waited for his opponents in the ring, Romero Contreras attacked Steve Austin on the floor! This Triple Threat was almost all Romero, and he pinned Austin after a brutal Skull Crushing Finale on a sledgehammer!

Wade Barrett brought up the price of real estate with a visit to Superstars, where he beat Zack Ryder in a competitive match.

The Greatest American Bolo picked up a big win over Heath Slater with the American Revolution!

SMACKDOWN

Jake Roberts dropped Shad with the DDT!

Ziggler stormed the ring and attacked Kofi Kingston! As Kofi rallied back, Dolph caught him with a small package out of nowhere!

New refugees from Raw, The Miz and Daniel Bryan, squared off! Daniel Bryan charged the ring and made the fans forget all about his Nexus past as he beat the crap out of the Miz! Miz was on the defensive until CM Punk of all people hit the ring and took Bryan out, allowing Miz to pick up the win!

In a #1 Contender's Match, CM Punk defeated Undertaker and Drew McIntyre after Jack Swagger stormed the ring and caught Undertaker with the Gutwrench Powerbomb! Punk, who was fighting McIntyre on the floor, slid back in the ring and covered Undertaker for the win!

WEEK 2

RAW

New Raw arrival Chavo Guerrero pinned Tyson Kidd in a competitive match!

In a shocker, David Otunga teamed with Raw newcomer Chris Masters to face Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater in a tables match! It got UGLY...with Husky Harris hitting the ring to clean house on Otunga and Masters, but after he left, Otunga and Gabriel got split wide open and Masters managed to drive Slater through a table with an exploder suplex!

The Big Show and The Greatest American Bolo teamed up for the first time ever, taking on Ted DiBiase and his mystery partner...Joe Cothern! However, Cothern never even got in the ring and Big Show knocked DiBiase out.

The Ultimate Opportunist screwed Wade Barrett out of his rematch by beating him in a ladder match! Edge is the #1 Contender for Santino's WWE Title!

SUPERSTARS

The RVD-Mike Knox feud continued with a hard fought match and an RVD win.

Lex Luger gave it his all, but Shinsuke Nakamura shut him down in a brutal bout.

Romero Contreras ruined what should have been an epic Last Man Standing Match by brutally assaulting rival Steve Austin before the bell. After the match, he brutalized Austin with a steel chair.

SMACKDOWN

John Morrison made his triumphant return to Friday Night Smackdown, pinning Cody Rhodes after a brutal running knee!

In a shocking upset, Smackdown newcomer Yoshi Tatsu and Rey Mysterio upset the Tag Team Champions Drew McIntyre and William Regal!

The Christian Coalition (Christian and Kaval) battled the Powerhouse team of David Otunga and Chris Masters in a ladder match. It was a chaotic war that saw Sting get involved as well, but Christian's ladder match experience proved to be too effective.

CM Punk did, perhaps, the unthinkable when he made Sting submit in a Submission Match! Of course, Luke Gallows did jump Sting before the match...and Sting did make Punk tap once when the referee was knocked out...but Punk still got the final win! Punk brutalized Sting after the match, further softening him up for Backlash!

WEEK 3

RAW

Raw opened with Zack Ryder facing new Raw draftee...Intercontinental Champion Kane! Kofi Kingston, not on the Raw roster, bought a ticket to watch Kane from ringside! Kane seemed unusually vicious, even taking a chair to Ryder at one point before putting him away!

Santino and Kozlov fought off the Straight Edge Society, despite the interference of Alex Riley, who got mugged by Kozlov for interfering!

Alberto Del Rio ambushed David Hart Smith from behind to completely squash him.

New Raw recruit Vance Archer jumped Randy Orton from the crowd and even hit his finisher, but he wanted to hurt Orton to send a message...that cost him and he ate an RKO to debut with a loss.

SUPERSTARS

Husky Harrris looked impressive in a victory over Chris Masters.

Ezekiel Jackson watched on with interest as Sheamus and Mark Henry faced off. The referee was staggered and Sheamus went after Henry with a chair, but the referee saw it anyway and gave the win to Henry.

Mike Knox, RVD, Jimmy Snuka, Shelton Benjamin, Terry Funk and Ricky Steamboat met in a battle royal! Funk and Benjamin ganged up on Snuka, while RVD dumped Steamboat. RVD next eliminated his friend Terry Funk! RVD punted his rival Knox off the apron, and then went at it with Benjamin! Shelton ultimately dumped RVD for the win!

SMACKDOWN

Kaval welcomed new Smackdown arrival Chris Jericho...who gave him a Codebreaker for his troubles!

RVD picked up an impressive win over MVP!

HBK ambushed The Undertaker from the crowd and laid him out with multiple Superkicks and put him through a table to win their tables match in his Smackdown debut!

The Miz jumped Raven before their match and the brawl was on! Miz swooped in for the win, but Daniel Bryan got involved, causing a distraction that allowed Raven to hit the Evenflow for the pin! Mike Knox ambushed Raven from behind with a lead pipe!

WEEK 4

RAW

Batista came to the ring not even prepared to wrestle...and lost the Million Dollar Title in shocking fashion to Zack Ryder!

New Raw draft pick Dolph Ziggler teamed with Ted DiBiase and Joe Cothern against The Big Show, The Greatest American Bolo and Shinsuke Nakamura! Ziggler looked particularly impressive, pinning The Big Show after the Zig Zag.

Next up was new Raw pick-up...Terry Funk! He was ambushed on his way to the ring by Wade Barrett, who spiked him with the Wasteland in a squash!

Sheamus demolished Edge as he came to the ring, and hit the High Cross on the floor. Edge fought back, but the damage was too severe, and Sheamus prevailed over the #1 Contender!

SUPERSTARS

Superstars opened with an explosive debut: Booker T! Shad stormed the ring to spoil his return...but Booker tore him down and hit the Ax Kick for the win!

Skip Sheffield made his shocking return...and dominated Mark Henry! Sheffield's return has made Nexus stronger than ever!

In the main event, Vladimir Kozlov, Romero Contreras, Alex Riley, Husky Harris, Chris Masters and Chavo Guerrero faced off in a battle royal! Romero and Chavo worked Kozlov out, while Masters dumped Harris! Romero sent Chavo over the top moments later. Romero threw Riley out, and then he and Masters struggled with each other. Finally, a wicked Exploder over the top rope sent Masters to the floor!

SMACKDOWN

Kofi Kingston opened the show by pinning William Regal with the SOS to become the #1 Contender to the Intercontinental Title!

The Great Muta got some long awaited revenge on Matt Hardy!

Newest Smackdown draftee John Cena came to the ring! Drew McIntyre's music hit...but he jumped Cena from the crowd! Cena rallied back and went for the Attitude Adjustment...but William Regal hit the ring! Cena met him on the floor and they went at it, when Kofi Kingston ran out and ran Regal off! Kofi stood guard as Cena locked on the STF and made Regal tap!

In the main event, World Champion Sting faced off with new Smackdown arrival...Batista! Batista bullied Sting right off, but Sting would not back down! Batista got the upperhand and hit the Batista Bomb...but Sting fired up on him! Batista tried to leave the arena, but Sting caught him on the ramp and they brawled. Batista took out the referee and wiped out Sting with a sledgehammer before hitting him with another Batista Bomb for the pin! After the match, he grabbed a chair and tried to hurt Sting further...when EDGE of all people hit the ring and backed Batista off!

BACKLASH

Kofi Kingston came to the ring to challenge Kane...who jumped him from the crowd! Kane hit a Choke Slam and Kofi BARELY kicked out! Kofi struggled to stay in it...and even got caught with another Choke Slam! However, it was a desperation pin out of nowhere that put Kane down and put the Intercontinental title back on Smackdown!

Ezekiel Jackson ambushed Evan Bourne from behind, hitting the Book of Ezekiel on the US Champion! Bourne somehow managed to stay in it and fought back, but Jackson dominated him!

Bourne changed the complexion of things with a springboard huracanrana and took control, hitting a standing moonsault and the Air Bourne to retain the US Title!

The Greatest Bolo and The Big Show challenged Drew McIntyre and William Regal for the Tag Team Titles, and kept Regal on the defensive most of the match...so it was little surprise when Regal blasted Bolo with a chair, drawing a DQ.

Nexus sent Heath Slater to take the Million Dollar Title from Zack Ryder...and though it was a
good match, Slater was sent back to Nexus a bloody mess!

Santino came to the ring to defend the WWE Title for the first time...against Wade Barrett, Edge and Sheamus in a Fatal Four Way Elimination Match! There were no favorites played and all four men dished out tons of damage to anyone and everyone...but it was Barrett who struck first, pinning Santino with The Wasteland! Sheamus hit the Irish Curse on Edge...but Barrett completely blindsided him for the pin! Edge split Barrett wide open with the WWE Title belt, and Barrett returned the favor with his bare knuckles! With each man a bloody, bloody mess, Edge hit the Spear, but Barrett somehow kicked out! Barrett smacked Edge with the title belt and grabbed some steel chairs, looking to take Edge out with his old classic...when Edge hit another Spear and pinned Barrett to win the WWE Title!

CM Punk jumped Sting from behind before their match, a tactic that failed with Kane and Ezekiel Jackson before him. He fared no better as Sting got revenge for their submission match, making Punk submit to the Scorpion Deathlock!

Draft Summary:


WEEK 1 DRAFT
SD to RAW
Alberto Del Rio
The Big Show

RAW to SD
The Miz
Daniel Bryan

WEEK 2 DRAFT
SD to RAW
Chris Masters
Chavo Guerrero

RAW to SD
John Morrison
Yoshi Tatsu


WEEK 3 DRAFT
SD to RAW
Vance Archer
Kane

RAW to SD
Chris Jericho
Shawn Michaels

WEEK 4 DRAFT
SD to RAW
Terry Funk
Dolph Ziggler

RAW to SD
John Cena
Batista

Trades
Raw to SD
Goldust
Alex Riley
Mark Henry
David Hart Smith

SD to Raw
Great Muta
JTG
Shad
Matt Hardy


RAW

1. John Cena (default)
2. Sheamus (Backlash)
3. Triple H (The Bash)
4. Wade Barrett (Royal Rumble)
5. Santino Marella (WrestleMania)
WWE Champion: Edge (Backlash)
1. The Miz (default)
2. R-Truth (Backlash)
3. The Miz (Extreme Rules)
4. Zack Ryder (The Bash)
5. Ted DiBiase (Night of Champions)
6. Sheamus (Summerslam)
US Champion: Evan Bourne (TLC)
1. Ted DiBiase (default)
2. The Greatest American Bolo (Feb. Week 3 Year 1 Raw)
3. Batista (Elimination Chamber)
Million Dollar Champion: Zack Ryder (Apr. Week 4 Year 2 Raw)

Smackdown

1. Rey Mysterio (default)
2. Jack Swagger (Backlash)
World Champion: Sting (TLC)
1. Dolph Ziggler (default)
2. Luke Gallows (Extreme Rules)
3. Christian (The Bash)
4. Kofi Kingston (Night of Champions)
5. Drew McIntyre (Summerslam)
6. Todo Americano (Hell in a Cell)
7. Dolph Ziggler (Nov. Week 4 Year 1 SD)
8. Kane (Elimination Chamber)
Intercontinental Champion: Kofi Kingston (Backlash)
1. Raven (Dec. Week 2 Year 1 SD)
2. MVP (TLC)
3. Kane (Jan. Week 2 Year 1 SD)
Hardcore Champion: Kofi Kingston (Mar. Week 1 Year 1 SD)

1. The Hart Dynasty (Default)
2. John Morrison & R-Truth (The Bash)
3. The Hart Dynasty (Summerslam)
4. John Morrison & R-Truth (Hell in a Cell)
5. Straight Edge Society (Bragging Rights)
Unified Tag Team Champions: William Regal & Drew McIntyre (Elimination Chamber)

Good Golly, I Hit 200 Posts

With this post, in fact.

I was gonna try to come up with something cool here, but when my 200th post wouldn't have hit until July...if I'm lucky.

So, what's been going on?

- For some reason, my birthday (March 6th), tends to fall on or around GM's Day (or vice versa, really). In this case, apparently, GM's Day is March 4th. RPGNow is running a big sale in which a lot of companies are participating...a bunch of products at 25% off until March 8th or so. You can check that out here.

- In theory, I am still a comic book writer. In practice, it has all become very depressing. I have three completed scripts, art finished and everything, that are stuck in limbo and awaiting the colorists and letterers. I am unofficially boycotting Con Season until we have product ready to sell again, because I can't muster the energy necessary to pimp something that was due out six months ago and has no new release date in sight.

- We had a meeting about a new communication device for my daughter Faith, who is autistic. Durable communications devices are some high end stuff, apparently, and can get pretty pricey. For those interested in following the saga and milestones of our life with our autistic daughter and her incredibly supportive big brother can read my wife's blog here.

- I still plan to do "Scaling Savage Supers", hopefully very soon. I also have something for War of the Dead that I want to post before Chapter Three starts, which is likely to be delayed due to Lee over at Daring Entertainment breaking his wrist, unfortunately.

- The next book on the review queue is Invaderz by Post Mortem Studios, followed by the Chronicles of Ramlar Player's Guide and World Guide, WizKid: The Cheapening, The New Gods of Mankind Handbook and Caladon Falls.

- This economy sure sucks...still working two jobs (and making less than I did a couple of years ago). I'd sure like to go back to working one job again and make even what I am right now. I would probably write much more, to be honest.

- For readers who like irreverent humor, I highly recommend looking up C.L. Bevill, specifically Bubba and the Dead Woman...I have been laughing out loud for days over this, and you can get it at Smashwords (or Barnes & Noble and maybe even Amazon) for free (in e-book format, of course).

- I am really interested to see Eloy Lasanta's new game, Part-Time Gods. In that respect, at least, the end of the year cannot come soon enough.

- I've reviewed some great, but low profile, games this year...and it kinda saddens me to see how few the hits are for some of those games...mostly because I think gamers are doing themselves a serious disservice by not checking some of these games out.

- Fun facts: According to Blogger, the most read post on this site, ever, is my Walking Dead post...and most people find it because of the Emma Bell picture. The most read game review I have ever posted is Smallville. For some inexplicable reason, the Ninja Turtles/ICONS stuff is incredibly popular as well.

- I'm pretty disappointed at my lack of productive output over the last year. Hopefully I can change that this year.

- OH! I won $50 just for FAILING TO QUALIFY for a survey. That's easily the coolest rejection I have ever received.

Keep readin', and I'll keep writing! Hopefully 200 posts is just the beginning.

T.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Tommy's Take on Agency Resource Guide (Terror Network)

The Agency Resource Guide is an all-purpose supplement for Terror Network, designed to provide more options and advice for players and GMs. The book is $5.99 in PDF format, and is also part of the Terror Network Bundle. Bedrock Games also has their games available in print through Studio 2.

The PDF, like Terror Network, has all of the bells and whistles present, from bookmarks to clickable Table of Contents and searchability.

AGENCIES AND CAMPAIGNS

First off, each of the common agencies are covered, with a focus on the types of operations they are likely to perform, as well as the hierarchy of the organization. For instance, the agents in the FBI are generally going to report to the Supervisory Special Agent, who answers to the Assistant Special Agent in Charge who reports to the Special Agent in Charge of the field office. That guy has to answer to the Division Chief, who reports to the Section Chief, who reports to the Director. The FBI, CIA, Homeland Security, Local Law Enforcement and US Special Operations Command are all discussed in this manner.

A good overview is given of the latitude afforded to agents, as well as the resources that they can call on.

We also get five sample campaigns designed to show the flexibility of a Terror Network game while staying within the Counter Terrorism "genre". For instance, an FBI campaign starting off as what appears to be a hunt for an elaborate serial killer turns out to have completely different motivations. A Secret Service campaign in which the PCs are having to deal with someone within their organization out to assassinate the President. One campaign is off duty cops versus a states rights militia that takes over a small town. Another involves a tricky prisoner transfer from overseas...in part because the country that has him is reluctant to admit that they do. Finally, a CIA campaign that kicks off with some very targeted plane bombings that, for some reason, no one has taken credit for.

INVESTIGATIONS AND INTELLIGENCE

As it says...a look into counter terrorism investigations and intelligence gathering. While there is a lot of information here, most of it is in pretty broad strokes. For instance, this isn't an in depth guide on "How to take fingerprints from a crime scene". I don't think that's a bad thing...honestly, it's the kinda thing I'm perfectly fine with my players going "I wanna take fingerprints from the crime scene." "Okey dokey" and then adding a roll of it is relevant.

The section on interrogation techniques is pretty great, identifying skills that might come into play, but also encouraging the GM to provide bonuses for good techniques...and offering a discussion of many of those techniques.

Resolving hostage situations is broken down into four basic methods (Rescue/Dynamic Entry, Sharp Shooters, Chemical Agents and Negotiation).

In the Intelligence Gathering section, the various sources for information gathering is laid out, alongside the types of Covert Operations that the CIA and Special Ops are likely to perform. In fact, the entire Intelligence Gathering section is pretty extensive, laying out the CIA's approach to information gathering, from an agent forming his alias to picking his targets and so on.

NEW RESOURCES AND RULES

First off, we get more coverage of mandates, expanding and clarifying them. We get mandates for local law enforcement agencies (APBs and Police Back-up).

We get rules for Specialists, who are essentially "one skill" NPCs that can be assigned to teams from the major organizations (CIA, FBI, Homeland Security and Special Ops) with the skill level that a specialist from that organization would provide...(for instance, an FBI Negotiator is more skilled than a CIA Negotiator...but when it comes to lawyers, Homeland Security has it down cold).

There are also Combat Specialist teams, such as FBI Swat Raids and Special Ops Strike Teams that basically get abstracted down to a Combat Rating.

The Resources section covers getting warrants as well as the various levels of security clearance, including transferring security clearance in multi-agency operations. There is a reference to a sidebar with a more realistic approach to clearance, but I couldn't find it in the immediate vicinity of this section, so I'm not sure what happened.

Finally, rules are provided for aiming shots, Targeted Shots (Called shots, including more lethal called shots) and attacking multiple opponents.

EQUIPMENT

Here we expand the weapons and equipment from the core rules, starting with melee weapons. In addition to nightsticks, telescoping batons, tear gas grenades and some new firearms, we also get rules for improvised weapons as well.

Vehicles get expanded, not only with new vehicles but add-ons such as armor and even snow tires.

This chapter really earns its keep with pages of new, general equipment (like "under the door" cameras", makeup kits, swiss army knives, grapppling equipment and much, much more). Computers are covered in notable detail, with bonuses for access to certain databases, as well as rules for firewalls and various types of software that a counter terrorism agent might like to have.

The chapter ends with dogs...bomb dogs, rescue dogs, drug dogs and attack dogs.

GLOBAL AGENCIES AND HOTSPOTS

Agencies for France, Israel, Pakistan and the United Kingdom are covered, with mandates appropriate for each. This section isn't INCREDIBLY useful if you want to run a game based outside of a US organization, as their is no hierarchy (or even a suggested "Use the CIA Hierarchy for Mossad", etc), but there is plenty enough information for international operations in which your PCs' agency has to work with another country.

The Hotspots section includes a brief overview of each country, followed by a breakdown of the major terrorist groups in each, with name, leadership, their size and ideology, followed by a paragraph or two of detail. This covers Afghanistan, Chechnya, Colombia, Greece, Iran, Iraq, Ireland, Israel, Kashmire, Pakistan, The Phillipines, Somalia, Spain, Sri Lanka, Thailand and Yemen. If you wanna clash with FARC instead of the Taliban, here you go.

DEPARTMENTS AND AGENCIES

No, this is not a rehash of the CIA, FBI and so on...this chapter is about important departments and agencies inside the US and how they interact with, or otherwise affect, the agencies likely to be used by the PCs.

There is even a paragraph given for every single department in the President's Cabinet, talking about the Departments of Agriculture and Education alongside the more "obvious" choices for a Terror Network game like the Department of Justice.

The Departments of Defense, Homeland Security and Justice get dramatically expanded as well, as they have far more relevance to the counter terrorism issue, given that Special Ops, Homeland Security and the FBI fall under their purview respectively.

The final section in this chapter delves into independent agencies, which has a particular bearing on the CIA.

RUNNING TERROR NETWORK

I like the touch up front, where the authors helpfully point out that they are not telling you how to run the game the "right way"...pointing out that once you buy it, feel free to do as you like (even if it means turning it into GI Joe vs Cobra)...but they do offer up some advice to help you out here.

They stress that the intent is to make Terror Network flexible within the framework of "Counter Terrorism RPG"...providing tools for door-busting action missions or intense investigations. In fact, building investigations from the ground up is covered here, starting with bad guys and their plots then evidence and locations and even laying out a timeline (which can go a long ways towards making the game feel "alive" in any situation).

They also recommend mixing it up...that is, not having every game be Jihadist of the Week. As I noted in the Terror Network review, they certainly provide ample material to allow you to do just that.

This chapter also talks about politics and how the authors have (impressively) managed to keep their personal politics non existent in their writing, as well as how to have a successful Terror Network game with a group of people who may have wildly differing views about the War on Terror.

The chapter ends with an expanded selection of optional rules for High Octane play, in case your PCs just aren't feeling bad ass enough.

The book ends with an extensive glosssary of important names and terms related to counter terrorism, a list of web resources you can use for your own research, and a character sheet (which seems to be identical to the one in the main rulebook).

THOUGHTS

Just buy the bundle and you don't have to worry about it. Seriously, while the Terror Network book hardly felt incomplete, the Agency Resource Guide just has enough information to make it feel indispensable for someone looking to run Terror Network. The dramatically expanded equipment section stands out, as does the Global Hotspots section.

I also really like the NPC Specialist rules, and the Investigations and Intelligence chapter ranges from "pretty good" to "great" on the information.

Just a lot of great information packed into a well written, well researched book. A must for Terror Network players and GMs.